Sunday, May 15, 2016

Never Hire a Triathlete...

Triple Threat teammate Gina (Virginia) recently wrote this "Note to Hiring Managers" about some hidden benefits of hiring a triathlete.

Unfortunately, I must respectfully disagree. Here are the Top 10 reasons why you should never hire a triathlete.

10) Overly hydrated, requires a bathroom break every 15 minutes

9) Speedy time at company fun run causes "emotional distress" among fellow employees, creating litigation risk

8) Nuff said...

7) Liberal-leaning "lunch break" interpretation

6) Ever the multi-tasker, known to stretch out hammys, quads, and glutes mid-presentation

5) Reeks of chlorine, AKA "eau de piscine"

4) "Helmet hair" has more waves than the Atlantic 

3) Not known as a top performer at the company hot dog eating contest

2) Don't be deceived, that spreadsheet they've been "hard at work" on for the past hour is an analysis of race results

1) Incessant clanking from finisher medals distracting to co-workers

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